Saturday, December 16, 2000

Well... I've had to stay up and study for the past few days... Sorry... But I am done... but now I am leaving school and will return in Januray. Hope everyone is doing fine and lovely... Happy Holidays, poor saps!

Wednesday, December 13, 2000

I told her I might not be in love with her. And she got pissed. She got pissed because she was right. Well, not in my book. I didn't say I wasn't in love with her. I said I might not be. Maybe I have yet to find true love and everything to this point was never love at all. But I do know this: Whatever it is I feel, its the strongest I've felt in a while. I can't describe it. Its there. And I know it is. Does she?
There's a lot of things involved between us. But, I can't ever say how much or what is there. There just aren't enough words...
good night all...
~Ricky

Tuesday, December 12, 2000

The past days have been racked with serious conversations... IMs, phone, face to face... I just came back from watching a movie with her and her roommate and a friend. I hold her and nothing bothers me. To say the word cuddle doesn't bother me. Am I whipped? no. I am falling. faster than before if I wasn't already there. And do i want to be careful and stop? No. I want to make the most of my time with her. She is going home in less than a week. I will be leaving as well. I will spend about a month and a whole lot of miles away from her. How can I do that when I can't stand to be one floor and a hallway from her now?

Monday, December 11, 2000

well, kiddies... I watched Empire Strikes Back with the girl. Well, that's not where it starts...
We talked today. We are on an even level. She keeps asking if we are... and I say yes. And do I mean it? Yup. I finally understand things, I guess... I hope, at least. Then, she asked me if I wanted to eat dinner with her roommate and a friend. i said yes. I ate with her instead of eating with my roommate and my suitemate and company. Am I a bad person? No. I just wanted to spend more time with her. I feel guilty about the way I have been treating her for the past few days. I've been an asshole. I won't lie. Any why? Because I am a stupid, love-struck boy who doesn't know how to treat a lady properly. I am still on the playground level.. you know? When you show you like a girl by rubbing her face in the dirt by the merry-go-round. Anyway, during dinner, it was brought up a point to watch a movie... which was narrowed down to ESB. I borrowed the movie from my bestest friend ever and brought it over... a few minutes late... okay... 15 minutes late. Yeah, I was keeping track of the time. i just wanted to get a rise out of her. And is that bad? Yes. But, I was curious...
Anyway, so we watched the movie. And she leaned on me. And I liked it. Does that mean I am falling in love with her again? No. because I still am. But if I wasn't, no. That just means I enjoy her company and like to hold her. And is that so wrong? I don't think so. And I don't care. She makes me happy. And I think i make her happy. And that's what I want really. I want someone I can be happy with and make them happy. And is that wrong?
Right now, i would say yeah...
Goodnight all...
~Peaceout...
Ricky

Friday, December 08, 2000

We went to the Publick House tonight for dinner. I stole the pitcher we had for our sweet tea. Hey... I couldn't help it.
Today's been hectic. I can't publish it, so, if you know me, ask me about it. hectic to the point where I wish it hadn't happened. Anyway, we come back and our room smells like weed. I hated that because 1) I didn't smoke it. 2) my roomate/suitemate doesn't smoke. Our other suitemate, who is straight edge, had a friend come over and smoke up in our bathroom. Not cool. I plan on reaming his ass for this shit.
Peace out... catch ya on the flip flop...
~Ricky

Thursday, December 07, 2000

Okay... So, it is close to sleepytime, so i am going to post once more before I go to sleep. Today was cool. No problems. No real cool things, either. Anything important to reveal? nope. absolutely nothing. sorry kids. uneventful day. and tomorrow, with no classes, I am going to clean the room. Surprise!
Peace out, kiddies...
~Ricky
well, kids... its been a while again. I must inform everyone of something before I begin...
I let someone read the postings, and that is important because some of the postings are inreference to her. I am not going to filter anything or censor postings, just to let you know. I plan on continuing my mindless dribble as I have. If she reads them, well, I invite her to. Perhaps it will give her insight to what I really think when I say "I'm okay."
Anyhow...
Final Exam week is peering around that corner. Gotta step up the notch on effort. I've been studying alot, so that's why I haven't been posting too often. I apologize to the estimated 2 readers....
Anyway, I am going to waste time...
peace out... look forward to another posting by sleepytime.
~Ricky

Sunday, November 26, 2000

I went to Myrtle Beach to spend Thanksgiving Break working and chillin with my brother. It was fun. I made money. When is that bad?
I finished reading Southern Fried Plus 6 by my English professor William Price Fox. It is a collection of short stories that he claims are fiction, but they parallel a lot of the stories he tells us during class. I think they are fiction stories based on his experiences. Well, in "Dear Diary Wanda, " a soldier falls in love with this girl who wants to have sex, basically. He does the noble thing and says, "no," for chivalrous reasons. Well, here is the last paragraph...

And to think of that divine creature lying there before me in the moonlight with a slip barely on, squirming and asking for it. That's right, squirming and asking and begging for it, and me so goddamn full of love and horse shit, I didn't know what to do.
Live and learn....

Wow. Heavy. Sounds familiar too...
Goodnight all...
~Ricky