Thursday, November 09, 2000

Exhausted. I stayed up after the last posting to do homework and watch the elections. I stayed up with the girl I am still in love with in an effort to just hang out with her. She had a lot of homework to do, and she had panic attacks a few times. I wanted to be there to comfort her, but she says it is too intimate and too early. I say comfort as in she cuddling up next ot me with my arm around her and holding her hand telling her it'll be okay because I know she can do well. She says too imtimate, too early because of what all has happened in the past... especially when we try to do homework around each other. Nothing happened, but I know that there should be. I still feel the spark. I still love her. But, friendship is what she wants. And I will do my best to be there as her friend. Granted, I reserve the right to get insanely jealous if I see her simply talking to another guy. But jealousy isn't a bad thing. It only is if you react badly upon it. And I think she still likes it that I get jealous. And vice versa. I told her about what happened with me and the other girl. She said she had a feeling something like that happened. So our vibes are still connected... I stayed up until about 7 and went to sleep. She had to go to work. I didn't sleep well. I thought about her. I thought about kissing her. I thought about holding her and being her comfort. I had class at 2:30. I had another class at 5:30. I think about her 24:7. Yesterday night, I stayed up til 1:30 trying to write a paper due today at 11:00. I said screw it and went to sleep. I woke up at 9 this morning to do it. It sucked, but its done. I didn't sleep well, though. I am still tired. I am still thinking about her. I am still wishing for her to be near me. I am still in love. dammit.
~Ricky

Tuesday, November 07, 2000

its 12:07 in the AM and we are glued to the television following the presidential returns. I actually have headphones strapped on listening to music that reminds me of someone and I feel guilty of the way I treated a sweet girl because I felt empty. What is wrong with me? Me thinks my friend was right when she said I use people... a lot. But then again, I already knew that. I am a sucker for routine, I guess. I hope Gore loses and kills himself. I hate that man. If I could choose someone to fight (as in Fight Club), I'd choose him. I don't like him because he is the guy behind the decrease in spending for the military. As a result, many military bases shut down... including the Charleston naval shipyard. When it closed down, my father was out of a job. He then had to move to North Carolina to get a job that would give us the financial support that we had from the Charleston naval shipyard. Granted, I don't have a wonderful relationship with my father, but him moving away didn't help the situation. Thanks, Gore. Thanks, you Political Whore.
Robot-Man Al Gore
He shouldn't live anymore
Political Whore
A Hiaku that rhymes. Imagine that.
Here is a side note: If I don't post something for a few days, i think it is safe to say that a girl is involved... somewhere...
Go Dubya!
~Ricky